Refresh, Refresh, Refresh-The "Looking-Glass Self"

Facebook has become the predominant social networking site for teenagers and young adults.  How many times have you sat in front of your computer clicking "refresh" waiting for a comment or someone to like your status?  We live in a society where instant gratification is everything.  It's amazing how a text from the guy we like or a complimenting comment on one of our pictures can make our day in one split second.  I can't even imagine being in my parents' shoes and having to pick up the phone and actually call someone if I wanted to have a conversation!  And no, it wouldn't be through a cell phone; at that time it would have been through a phone with a cord most likely located in a family area such as the kitchen where everyone could hear your conversation!  Secretive is one of the best adjectives to describe adolescents.  With the use of technology, being secretive is easier than ever....

In class we watched a Frontline video on teenagers and the internet.  One girl featured on the episode was "Autumn Edows".  Jessica, known as "Autumn", created a new risque persona for herself to express her true self through the internet where she would not be judged, unlike how she was at school.  She constantly uploaded photos of herself to her website without the knowledge of her parents until her website was discovered by another parent of a student in her school and was brought to the attention of the school principal.  Her parents were shocked when they found out what she had been posting and initially thought that it was wrong.  However, eventually they came to the conclusion that they did not want to stifle Jessica's creativity and let her express herself through her site.  She wasn't a bad kid, she just found a way to be accepted and creative through the internet.

Like Jessica, many teenagers see themselves through the reactions of others.  This is known as the "Looking-Glass Self" as formulated by Charles Horton Cooley.  "Cooley used the familiar figure of a person looking at his or her refelction in a mirror as a metaphor for understanding the development of the social self." ("From Mirror Self-Recognition to the Looking-Glass Self: Exploring the Justification Hypothesis", Leigh S. Shaffer).  A well discussed topic in class, the question was brought up if a "true-self" actually existed if we are only seeing ourselves to others and conforming to what we think they see in us.  Personally, I believe that a "self" is a compilation of past experiences and choices that we have made on our own that defines who we are.  Although people may have similar characteristics, we are all our own "self" if we so choose to be.  I think that when one makes a decision for himself or herself, that is exercising his or her "self".  However it can't be overlooked that we are influenced by what is around us.  We are constantly seeking to justify our behaviors and reactions, and the ToK (Tree of Knowledge) system, formulated by Henriques, defines this.  According to the article "From Mirorr...", "...'self' has evolved because human beings are the only animals that have had to justify their behavior to others."  If you think about it, everything that we do seems to have to be justified.  Just yesterday I told my parents that I was pretty set on attending the University of Illinois, and went on to explain the reasons why.  My mom stopped me mid-way and told me that I really didn't need to justify my reasons for attending the university because they hadn't even asked the question!  It made it so obvious how often we try to justify our actions when it isn't always necessary.

I would like to spend just a little bit of time discussing the title of the honors article that I read as a reference for writing this blog entry...The title, "From Mirror Self-Recognition to the Looking-Glass Self: Exploring the Justification Hypothesis", contains a pun.  Can you find it?  "Mirror" is the word I was looking for.  The word "mere" would be grammatically correct in this sentence, but "mirror" is so perfectly placed because of the connection to the "looking-glass self".  "Mere self-recognition" would represent just being able to recognize yourself, while "mirror self-recognition" is a whole different animal.  It refers to how we see ourself.  It may not be physically, but could be referring to how we see and define ourself as an individual.  I just thought the title was witty!

"Mirror self-recognition", unfortunately, can be detrimental to a teenager.  On the Frontline episode that we watched in class, a father was featured talking about his son who had been bullied in middle school so severely online that he ended up committing suicide at the age of thirteen.  This really hit me hard because my brother and sister are both thirteen and they are living in this generation where the media and social networking is everything.  They're constantly wired in to everything around them including XBox live games, Facebook, and texting.  There is so much that goes on with technology that it is impossible to know what people are talking about.  I'm worried that they wouldn't know how to handle online bullying and would take it too personally.  Unfortunately, from personal experience, I know a thing or two about cyber bulllying.  When I was in eighth grade, I made the local travel soccer team.  As extatic as I was about it, my future teammates just used it as an advantage to torture and taunt the "newbie".  I remember signing on to my AOL instant messanger account during the summer break and an instant message came up from a contact I didn't have in my buddy list.  I still remember the screenname, but out of respect for the individuals involved, I won't post it over the internet (see I'm not abusing my rights to the internet!).  It started with a friendly "hey how are you?" but transpired into something much worse.  The girls started mocking me and jokingly saying how good I was at soccer, but I knew it was all a big joke because of the way they were saying things.  It would be sarcastic like, "You are SOoOo good at soccer!  Way to make 1 goal in try-outs."  These rude, snide remarks made me miserable and any chance that I had to skip practice I would, not because I didn't love soccer, but because of how rude the girls on the team were to me.  It wasn't an environment conducive to learning and getting better at my soccer skills, but I was afraid of telling my parents anything because I didn't want to get the girls' parents involved and them treating me even worse than before.  I began to think that the image that the girls had of me was actually who I was, just like the Looking-Glass Self.  Luckily I was able to put it all beside me and move on, but I can see how easily it can be to get caught up in what others are saying about you.  I ended up quitting soccer (I loved the sport, but couldn't take the harrassment anymore) and joined the track team, where I am quite happy and accepted by all of my teammates.  It's amazing how a team of over 100 girls can get along so well, but my soccer team of about 18 players couldn't accept one person.  Now looking back, I realize that at least I found my niche and my passion, even if it had to come out of something unfortunate!  Tomorrow I'll probably share my story with my brother and sister and make sure that everything is going alright in their "cyber-world".  Communication is key, even if it has been disfigured with the use of social networking.  Oh, for the record, I didn't check Facebook once during writing this one hour blog post :)

Live, Breathe, Speak American

Throughout the United States, many different dialects of English are spoken.  Although we as Americans all live in the same country and speak English, it is sometimes difficult to understand others because of their accent.  For example, a southern accent is much different from a midwestern accent.  Accents also affect how intelligent we perceive other people to be.  This clip from "Do You Speak American?" helps to discern the difference between correct and incorrect English as we perceive it to be...

As stated in the video, people perceive Southern accents to be a sign of unintelligence.  However, if we look at the presidents of the United States, being from the South did not affect their intelligence but rather helped candidates such as Bill Clinton and George Bush to win the presidency because the public could equate themselves with the presidents.  Southern accents seem more welcoming and like the common-man speak, which appeals to people in that they feel the president is no different than themselves.  


In "Do You Speak American", we learned the difference between Chicano English and Spanglish.  Chicano English is English with some Spanish slang used.  Often, people who speak Chicano English do not even speak fluent Spanish, but they have grown up hearing common expressions in Spanish being used and have incorporated the words into their vocabulary.  Spanglish on the other hand is a combination of Spanish and English.  Many native Spanish speakers once they learn English do not notice that they are switching between the languages when speaking because it seems so natural.  I thought that it was very interesting that there are so many different dialects of English in one country!  Below I describe some common expressions used in different dialects or definitions of the dialect...


1. Valley Girl Speak: Exemplified in the movie Clueless.  Includes phrases: "like", "oh my gosh", "and I was all..."

2. Chicano English: English with Spanish slang.

3. Spanglish: English and Spanish spoken together.

4. New York Accent: Changes the "OR" sound to a "OW" sound

From personal experience, I know how hard it can be to understand people with accents different  from my Midwestern accent.  For example, my grandma and her family were from Georgia.  When I was younger, it was very hard for me to understand what they were saying because they pronounced words in many different ways than did I.  When I stayed overnight with some of the family in Georgia during the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta, I was only three years old.  My parents were attending a basketball game, and I was left with my relatives since buying a ticket for a three year old was not economical.  Even today I can remember having a hard time understanding what these people were saying to me, and it's crazy to think that we only live about 2 hours away from each other via plane!

While some dialects may seem like a totally different language all together, different languages seem millions of miles away.  Guy Deutscher in his article, "Does Your Language Shape How You Think?" describes that the English language is much more private than other languages because other languages use pronouns to describe the femininity or masculinity of a word.  For example, if someone was telling someone else about their night spent with their neighbor, they would use "el" or "la" vecino/a, and instantly the other person would know what the gender of the neighbor was.  In Chinese, there is only one verb tense for past, present, or future actions, but, "...this does not mean that the Chinese are unable to understand the concept of time."

I found it interesting that in the article it stated, "...grammatical genders can shape the feelings and associations of speakers toward object around them."  Some words in Spanish were feminine while the same words in German were masculine.  This determined how people perceived the words to be gender wise.  An example cited is the word "bridge".  In Spanish, bridge is masculine, but in German, it is feminine.  People therefore assigned different gender roles to the word based on what their language described it as.

Bridge=El Puente=die Bruke

Finally, I found the Australian tongue, "Guugu Yimithirr" to be very interesting.  Instead of describing this as behind us, or to the right of us, they use Cardinal directions.  For example, if I were to say that the desk was behind me, in GY I would say that the desk was south of me, assuming the south was behind me.  I read that we are egocentric even with languages.  "If you saw a Guugu Yimithirr speaker pointing at himself, you would naturally assume he meant to draw attention to himself.  In fact, he is pointing at a cardinal direction that happens to be behind his back."  I found this to be interesting because often we use the pointing hand gesture to point at ourselves when we are talking about ourselves, but this dialect uses it to express direction.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guugu_Yimithirr_language 

Overall, we live, breathe, and speak American.  We have determined our "rights and wrongs" of English and continue to express ourselves through the language that we have been raised in.

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Finally, as a side note, this week in Sociology we had the opportunity to go to a presentation for a group called Purse of Hope who is working to save girls in Uganda from sex trafficking.  The numbers were astonishing...80% of people taken for human trafficking are girls who are sold into sex trafficking to make money for brothel owners.  The other 20% are boys who are forced into the military.  We have life so good over here as a society, and we really need to come together to help the society of Uganda to save the lives of innocent boys and girls.  Fortunately, our high school has been able to save a young girl named Prossy from Uganda and bring her into the Purse of Hope home so that she can get off the streets and not have to be sexually assaulted anymore.  The girls in the home learn vocations to raise money for their families (some of the girls become pregnant through sex trafficking), and also money to support themselves so that eventually they can live on their own and operate their own businesses.  The girls made bracelets and necklaces that are being sold at my high school, and I learned that one necklace can save a girl from 140 acts of sexual assault.  140!  These poor girls have a skewed image of their society because all they have seen is the men in the brothels who take advantage of and sometimes hurt them.  I feel so blessed to be living where I am today.  None of my problems seem as grandiose as the ones that these girls go through on a daily basis.  I hope to be able to help those girls in need by the resources that I am fortunate enough to have!  No one should be forced into sex labor.  The video below really touched me and made me want to become a part of the Purse of Hope organization so that I too can help these girls get out of horrendous situations and eventually become strong, independent women.

Pass the Leafy Greens Please...You Are What You Eat.

I remember the first time that I stepped foot in my best friend's house.  The smell coming from the kitchen was overwhelming.  I had never smelled anything more disgusting in my life!  No matter where I went in the house I could not escape the smell.  My friend was Indian, and her mother was always making traditional Indian cuisine when I would be over at her house to hang out.  I remember seeing the yellow curry for the first time on a plate and being asked if I wanted to try any.  Of course, being twelve years old, I said no.  I didn't even give the food a chance because of my ethocentricity.  I was judging my friend's food as inferior to my own food because "ours is right and superior and smells good and theirs is wrong and inferior and smells bad..." (You Are What You Eat, Rappoport).  However, as I grew older, I began to try new foods, and eventually found that curry sauce was absolutely delicious!  I remember the first time my mom bought a bottle, I used the sauce on everything...it took me awhile to get out of that ethnocentric mind set when it came to food, but once I had left it behind, all the different flavors became part of my pallet that I enjoyed eating!


It's ironic for me to think that five years ago I never considered eating like my friend, but today I eat almost identically to her.  I am a vegetarian, just as she is, and through that I have discovered so many new foods that I never would have tried before.  For example, tofu is one of my favorite snacks!  Most people look at tofu (pictured below) and remark at how disgusting it looks, and I don't blame them, but people need to give foods a try before they judge.  

Foods most definitely reflect who we are.  I had never really thought of food defining who I was, but if I look at what I eat in a typical day, it is all drawn back to who I am and who I was raised as.  For example, I eat a very healthy cuisine consisting of vegetables, fruits, protein, etc.  I did not take eating into my own hands until I began to be a serious runner.  The article I read, "You Are What You Eat", said that, "Adolescents in athletic programs may begin to follow the dietary recommendations of their coaches..."  I found this to be incredibly true because I always listened to my coach about what and what not to eat because I thought that it would help me with my running.  I have recognized that when I eat healthy foods, I am more likely to be happy throughout the day and feel good during a workout rather than when I eat junk food, I feel unhappy with myself and end up having a stomach ache later on in a run.  So what was the point of this?  Food reflects who we are.  My healthy eating habits are a reflection of my devotion to athletics.  Also, food can be a reflection of social status.  The article said that our food preferences reflect our social class.  For example, people who drink white wine are seen as people of high social status, while people who drink whiskey are seen as low social status individuals.


Food...who knew such a simple concept could grow into something so large!  Food is even associated with music!  Imagine walking into a Chinese restaurant and hearing Hispanic music.  It just wouldn't go together!  You would expect to hear something more calm and serene in a Chinese restaurant, and something upbeat in a Mexican restaurant.  This is known as a norm.  Norms are the expectations, or rules of behavior, that reflect and enforce values.  


Norms and values often go hand in hand.  What we value is what we use as a pedestal for what is good, and what is bad.  For example, in Sociology class, we saw the conflict of values occur in our deliberation over Euthanasia.  Our question was, "Should our democracy permit physicians to assist in a patient's suicide?"  I was one of three out of the entire class who thought that this should not be allowed in our country.  Although I am looking at it from a religious perspective, where we do not have the right to choose when to end our life, there are also other arguments that support my point.  For example, allowing this law to pass could result in moral detachment from death.  People would begin to see that if death is acceptable, that the law is bendable.  Also, under the Hippocratic Oath, which many medical schools teach to their students, doctors promise that they will not give deadly drugs to patients upon request.  Euthanasia completely breaks the oath, as it is assisted suicide.

Could you really let yourself be stuck with guilt of permitting your own loved one's death to occur?  How would you make the decision to pull the plug?  Could you do it for your own mother?  Your mother who loved and raised you for your entire life?  This unnecessary guilt is placed upon an individual who has to make the decision for someone who cannot make a conscious decision for themself about their own life.  Euthanasia could lead to the killing of innocent people, such as the Nazis did to the mentally disabled, homosexual, and gypsies for no fault of their own.

However, some might watch a video like the one below and wonder how euthanasia could not be allowed...

Yes, this recent story makes you think, but did you see the picture of the woman and her three children towards the end of the video?  Her children must have loved her, and would probably have not wanted to see her go.  Although the lady was unable to see, she was still able to move around and to express herself with her words.  In her case, euthanasia seemed selfish.  She was leaving behind her children, her loved ones, her family...

Everyday we are faced with questions of values and norms.  They could be on the scale of the social norm of food, or on the much larger, grandiose scale of Euthanasia.